My niece had a lovely wedding three years ago. You might call the style rustic-fancy. It was rustic because it took place in a tent in her mother's back yard. Her backyard opens up to the ocean, so that's wild and natural-rustic in a way. The fancy comes from the wonderful wedding accessories and favors. They were personalized and lovely.

Sandy, my niece, and her husband Vic shopped at Kate Aspen for wedding accoutrements. Because Sandy and Vic are environmentalists, they chose biodegradable wedding poppers. Boy, they were fun! They also bought monogrammed cards on recycled paper for thank you notes. Every place setting had a photo with a sweet photo of Sandy and Vic-very nice favors. What I liked best were the eco-friendly bamboo place card holders and matching place cards. The holders look like tiny vases. Bamboo really is eco-friendly because you can cut it and it grows right back.

My nephew, Sandy's brother John, is getting married next month. It's taking place at a distinguished country inn on a lake; I get a sense it's going to be quite fancy. My nephew has decided to buy a $4,000 black, designer suit instead of a tux. His bride-to-be, Debbie, is a fashion designer; I can't wait to see her dress. They have decided on Weddingstar bridal and wedding accessories.

I honestly don't know what they've chosen for wedding favors and accessories, but I know what I'd select if I were in their shoes. I would buy dozens of felt butterfly ring candleholders with votive candles and one at each table and around the reception hall. And I would give each of my guests a package of deep roasted cherry coffee in a personalized coffee mug.

Of course, there need to be personalized napkins. I like the design with the wedding cake, their names, and wedding date. Talking about wedding cakes, you can choose from such imaginative cake toppers; I'm not sure which one I would select. I would like to give the bridesmaids heart-shaped boxes of candies along with little diamond magnets. The groomsmen should get miniature gumball machines. They come in red or black; for a formal wedding I think black is better.

What I've learned from these two weddings is that it's important, but not entirely possible, to keep it simple. These practical young folks did what they could to simplify. They chose one online merchant for all their wedding favors and accessories. Some of these online shops only sell wedding-related products. So, they know the wedding business. They know what items work well together and what people typically like. They have goodies for showers, engagement parties, bachelor parties, honeymoons, and after the wedding. And listen to this: the good places let you buy a single sample so you can see what it looks like before you buy for the wedding! They even have tips and ideas to help you plan. Now that's service.

If I were to write a book about wedding planning, I would tell everyone to decide on one merchant for wedding favors and accessories and let that merchant help you. A sensible decision like that is the start of a strong and healthy marriage.